How to Handle Financially Dependent Adult Children
Being Fair
Dear Medallion Group,
I have two sons. One is doing very well, financially. The other married late, has a big mortgage, two car payments, and costly private school tuition for his two daughters. We want to help him out, but we don’t want to be unfair to our other more financially successful child. How can we be fair without alienating our well-to-do child?
Signed,
Peter
Dear Peter,
Your son’s needs may be partially due to a late marriage with a small income and partially due to bad choices.
Be Smart About Car Purchases
You mention two car payments. Listen up, America: you should only buy a car for which you can write a check! For example, if you have $4,000 in the bank or other cash reserves, then you can only afford a $4,000 car.
That may mean a 2004 Chevy Cavalier, but that’s what you should buy. A long-term car purchase is buying into a guaranteed money loss; we suggest that you never spend money on a car you can’t afford.
Keeping up with the Joneses
These days, with adjustable rate mortgages (ARM’s) and interest-only mortgages readily available, people can buy far more expensive houses than they can truly afford. Don’t get caught in that trap!
What if housing prices slip? Will you lose your home? Are you sure? We suggest you find a house note that is comfortable in both good and bad times. Don’t chase the Joneses!
Expensive Tuition
Finally, and we know this is a touchy subject; costly private schools are not always needed for a good education. Public Charter schools, cheaper church schools, and even home schooling and hybrid home schooling have all worked well for many families. Expensive tuition schools may help your children, but not if the extra bills are stressing out Mom and Dad.
Be Fair to Yourself
In closing, we applaud your desire to be fair and we certainly don’t know all your circumstances, but you may want to discuss your son’s choices and see if he could cut back and learn to take care of his own needs before you extend a helping hand.
However, if you choose to help your son-in-need, some people have had good results by first talking to the son who does not need assistance right now. You may find that child will ease your mind by giving you the go-ahead. We have even seen siblings who offer financial assistance to each other.
Interested in speaking more about your financial options or want to help that son of yours? Click the link below to schedule a free consultation with us.
At Medallion Financial Group, we believe financial planning is about Family. We have been helping families invest in the future since 1987 through a holistic planning approach. We recognize there are a variety of needs when it comes to retirement planning, plan rollovers, annuities, college planning, life insurance options, and investment management. It is easy to get lost in a sea of choices. Our financial advisors help with the basics and beyond to enable our clients to get the education, advice and management they need to retire with confidence.
Our focus is twofold: first and foremost, we are fiduciary advisors. We stand against any violation of laws, values, and ethics. Second, we treat our clients as part of our family, not only those who call Maryland and Georgia home, but clients across the US who have benefited from our reputation of personal service, integrity, and expertise.
We strive to exceed client’s expectations – because we have high expectations of ourselves.
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